Encouraging Voices

One time in a lesson, I was playing through a semi-tricky run. I could handle it in terms of my left hand, but problems in my right hand were making it sort of ugly. As I played through it again, Ms. L. chanted above the din, "Bend your thumb. Bend your thumb. BEND your THUMB. That sounded much better. Your thumb was bent. Think that's a coincidence?"

At one point as I was warming up on the evening of an audition, I got to that run and heard in my head, "Bend your thumb!" This was oddly calming. It told me that on that run, at least, I knew how to do what I needed to do...so just do it. It was a comforting thought to take with me as I walked into the actual auditions.

I experienced something similar as I was learning to ski, years and years ago. Through several days of lessons and short runs on tame little green-rated slopes, I had advanced to the point of getting maybe halfway down those slopes before falling on my ass and shedding skis and poles as I slid to a stop. Then one day I ventured out with a few friends on a 45-minute run down the mountain to the closest little town. The route was a step up in difficulty from the green runs. If I am correctly identifying the route we took, we went from an elevation of about 6,000 feet down to about 3,000 feet.

In other words, this was a stretch for a beginning skier like me. But I took my time, methodically executed one slow turn after another, and heard the voice of the ski instructor in my head: "Bend your knees! Bend your knees!" I kept my stuff together and didn't fall once in that 45 minutes. It was exhilarating to cruise into that little town in the valley like a real skier.

Unfortunately, I can't say I felt like a real musician after my auditions. Certain parts went reasonably well in relation to how well I had learned the music. (See how I qualified that?) Other (smaller) parts of the auditions were disastrous. Both auditions, although structured differently, were clearly designed to separate the men from the boys. The outcome just depends on the standards, I guess.

The good thing is that the orchestra people at both auditions were as kind (even funny!) as they could possibly have been while putting someone through those paces. They seemed like people I really would enjoy spending a few hours per week with. Another good thing is how my friends and family have encouraged me. A week or so ago when my MP3 player tossed some Sade at me, these lyrics jumped out: "That's just like you to tell me I have nothing to fear." Still, it helped to hear it. Those helpful voices may pop into your head just when you need them to.